Friday, April 8, 2011

Insidious

I saw two movies tonight and I'm going to begin with the second one. "Insidious". I saw this movie because my sister told me to so she could live vicariously through me. So...I get to blame her. Remember how I mentioned that I can't stand jump-out-at-you movies? That's all this was. If things weren't constantly surprising you it wouldn't be scary at all.

I read some reviews before I saw it and they mentioned that there aren't any fake scares. You know the ones. The girl hears something in her apartment and when she goes to check it out (and you think she's about to get axed) a cat jumps out at her causing both of you to scream and amuses the movie watchers around you. The reviews were correct. There wasn't one fake scare in the entire movie.

There was, however, predictability. You pretty much know who's going to die and who's going to be possessed. Those were the only things that weren't surprising. And I would really like to know who decided that violins were scary. Fortunately the symphony sensed when something bad was going to happen or were completely on top of things when something startling happened. They are very observant.

Amazingly enough the cussing was kept to a minimum. Yes, the F-bomb was used but only a couple times. Considering what all happened in the movie I expected much more. I mean if you're sitting at the dining table talking to your son and you see a nightmare over his shoulder I expect it to be like a night at the Osbournes. I don't cuss but I guarantee I'd make a sailor blush if something like that happened in real life. You know? And! There was absolutely no nudity. Not even close.

While I was trying to hide from the screen I noticed some of the couples around me and had a few giggles. The couple in front of me almost squished together so much during the scary scenes that they were dangerously close to becoming one person. The couple next to me had the man sitting on the edge of his seat and the woman so bothered by the movie that she couldn't sit still. And she couldn't get any further on to her seat than she already was. I think she'd have been through the wall given the choice. As for myself I was wishing I had gone with someone else. Then they could have told me what was happening and I could have hidden more often.

If you choose to go to a movie just to be scared then this is the film for you. If you seriously need to ask whether it's okay for children to see then you haven't been paying attention. The answer is NO!!! NO! NO! NO! And did I mention...NO!

Am I glad I saw this movie? Ummm...not really. Will I watch it again? Crap no! Would I recommend it to anyone? Only super horror freaks or guys who want their dates sitting in their lap through most of the movie. I'm telling my sister about it now and she's laughing at me. I pretty much knew she would. She's mean like that.

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