Monday, July 25, 2011

Zookeeper

I got to go to the pre-screening of Zookeeper and took my cousin, Leann, along for the ride. I think I decided early on that the producers of this film had absolutely no idea who their target audience is.

What does good ol’ IMDB have to say?

“A group of zoo animals decide to break their code of silence in order to help their lovable zookeeper find love -- without opting to leave his current job for something more illustrious.”

Well, yeah. That’s it in a nutshell. What’s missing is the fact that the animals are trying to fix him up with the woman who dumps him at the beginning of the movie. They can talk but apparently they can’t reason why this is definitely not a good idea. Zookeeper is predictable, for the most part, but with this kind of movie that’s to be expected.

Kevin James plays the part of the Zookeeper, Griffin. Has he ever played a serious role? Oh wait. I’m on IMDB. I’ll go check. I’m back. And the answer is…maybe. It shows that he played the role of Nitro Man on the TV show Martial Law. That doesn’t sound like a comedy to me. Griffin is very easy to like in this movie but his humor leans toward inane. Some of the things he does just wouldn’t happen. Or I hope they wouldn’t happen. Somewhere out there Spike is rolling his eyes about the reality of movies.

Leslie Bibb plays the part of Griffin’s ex-girlfriend, Stephanie. At no point in Zookeeper did I like her character. She did a really good job of playing the gold-digger. Her one goal throughout is to change Griffin so that he’ll take a better paying/better sounding job therefore increasing the amount of money he can spend on her and lowering her embarrassment quotient. She has no redeeming qualities at all. Sure, she’s super nice to him when he does what she wants but otherwise, not so much. Who really wants someone they have to change, anyway? Let’s be honest here.

Rosario Dawson plays Griffin’s co-worker, Kate. If you don’t know how things are going to end up with these two then you’ve never seen a romantic movie…ever! I like Rosario. She’s not on my list of favorite actors but I won’t not watch a movie that she’s in. She does a good job here of being the best bud for Griffin. I so want to go on a rant about guys and their best bud female friends but I won’t. Because I’m cool like that.

The rest of the actors were okay but, as I’m trying to keep this short, aren’t going to be mentioned. So there.

The previous part of this post was for the adults. The next part is for the kids. The talking animals are the only reason children will like this movie. Everything else that happens just won’t mean that much to them. Not that I’m underestimating children at all. I just think if you’re going to have talking animals it should be set up like a Dr. Doolittle-type movie. There was so much more in Dr. Doolittle to keep their attention. I can’t believe more kids in the theater didn’t get restless. My favorite part of the movie was trying to figure out which actor was the voice for each animal. I got most of them but totally missed on Cher. Until the end when she sings. Who doesn’t know that voice?

I really should have posted about this movie right away because I’ve forgotten a lot of the important parts of the breakdown. Following is the breakdown from IMDB. I’d be surprised if there wasn’t more cussing then is mentioned. I’ll have to ask Leann if she remembers.

Sex & Nudity
Main theme of movie is trying to win a girl back. Some suggestive and crude humor. A few kisses.

Violence & Gore
Some comical violence, like falling, running into walls, crashing into people. Nothing bad.
Profanity

"Freaking" and "hell" are used a few times each. Also, "sucks", "oh, crap" and "damn" are used.

Alcohol/Drugs/Smoking
Some drinking by adults.

Frightening/Intense Scenes
In one scene, a man gets a needle stuck in the side of his face.


Regarding the violence and gore, it was total pratfalls straight from the book o’ Chevy Chase.

I have no idea who I would recommend this movie for. So sad. I will not be watching it again. If you do go see this, stick around for the credits. There’s singing.

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