Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Jack and Jill (PG/91 Min.)
I should probably start this with a warning. This is going to be short and not very nice. I promise. To say this movie was bad doesn't do justice to the word. It was below awful. It was painful to watch. I took Leanne with me and was almost embarrassed for her. She didn't sound too thrilled when I asked her to go but she was a trooper and went anyway. She should not have had to sit through that. The good news though is that we didn't expect much and we certainly got what we expected...or didn't. Whatever.
Maybe we just don't appreciate Adam Sandler the way other people would. Except that I really do like some of his movies. So that can't be it. I have to hear the Turkey Song at lease once around Thanksgiving. And Christmas just isn't Christmas without Hannukah. Work that one out if you can. My point is, he CAN be funny. Just not in this.
I'd like to shout out a big, "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!!!" to all the people who had cameos in this. In no particular order...Regis Philbin, Dana Carvey, David Spade (Who am I kidding? This was right up his alley. He plays a woman. Yuck.), Shaquille O'Neal, Drew Cary, Jared from Subway, John McEnroe, Christie Brinkley, Michael Irvin, Bill Romanowski, Billy Blanks and Bruce Jenner. I might have missed one or two. Come on guys...and Christie. If someone was calling in a favor they should consider you paid in full! I can't believe I almost forgot the worst one. Al Pacino. How the mighty have fallen.
I'm gonna move on to the breakdown since I can't think of anything nice to say about the movie.
Sex/Nudity - None. Thank goodness!
Alcohol/Drugs - Lots of drinking. Even the used-as-a-joke-five-too-many-times bird gets drunk.
Violence - A little but it's meant to be funny.
Cussing - I have no idea. I'm serious. I even called Leanne to see if she remembered. There had to be. Right?
To say that I would recommend this to anyone would be a huge stretch but if I absolutely had to I'd say that anyone who loves every Adam Sandler movie ever made or is related to the guy who sat next to Leanne will love this movie. My IQ was cut in half just watching it so I have no idea if that sentence even made sense. I think you get the point. Please, for the love of all that's good and right in the world, don't go see Jack and Jill.
P.S. I just remembered a positive about the experience. We didn't have to pay for the tickets. Wahoo!
P.P.S. If you do go see this you'll probably stay through the credits anyway because it's a bunch of twins being "funny". Once that stops you can go ahead and drag yourself to the nearest exit because there's nothing else to see. Not even a teaser about a sequel. Oh! Another positive!