Tuesday, January 24, 2012

The Grey

Why? Why? WHY did I go see this movie? Don’t get me wrong. It was good but my muscles are so sore from the incredibly intense scenes. I don’t know what I expected. Judging by the trailer I should have known what was coming. I was hoping there would be a little more to it. There was but only just. Oh! I remember now why I went to see this. Two reasons. It was free. And Liam Neeson. Enough said. I took my cousin, Leann, with me this time. I’m still waiting for the day I ask her to go to a pre-screening and she just laughs and hangs up on me.

This film is about a group of oil drillers in Alaska whose plane crashes in the middle of nowhere and those who survive not only have to find their way out but have to do so while being stalked by highly territorial wolves. That’s it. There’s not much else. I guess I should mention the poignant walk down memory lane that the men take while sitting around the fire. Other than that it’s wolf city, baby.

I’d like to give a big shout out to the writers of this film. It must have been extremely difficult to find other words to use as filler between expletives. I just discovered that this was based on a short story called “Ghost Walker”. It would have to be a short story because no one could stand over a hundred pages of F this and F that. Yeah, there was a LOT of craziness going on but come on people. Save the good words for when times are really trying (to put it mildly).

If you’ve seen the trailer you’ve seen most of the movie. If you haven’t seen it and think you might want to watch The Grey then skip the trailer altogether. To say this was intense is a bit of an understatement. We were completely unprepared for most of the bad parts. There were way too many jump-out-at-you scenes, a.k.a. cheap scares. Leann was a bit embarrassed about this but I’m still going to mention that at one point she screamed. I can tell on her because I know that I at least squeaked a couple times. If the people next to us hadn’t talked through the entire movie they might have laughed at our responses. It couldn’t be helped though. These film makers are evil. Evil I tell ya!

I can’t fault any of the men in this film as far as doing their acting job goes. I can, however, fault some of the characters. Two in particular ticked me off early on and I was actually hoping bad things would happen to them. I got my wish with one of them. I was really angry about the second. I’m gonna ruin part of the movie for you and say that this guy just gives up. He just sits down and tells the guys to leave him. He’d hurt his knee earlier and didn’t feel like he could go on. Why was I so mad about this? Had he stayed with them he could have slowed the wolves down a little bit. What is one of the main truths about surviving in the wilderness? You don’t necessarily have to outrun whatever is chasing you. You just have to outrun whoever you’re with.

I’m having a really hard time writing this as I don’t want to give too much away. I’ll just go ahead and break it down although it’s really unnecessary. Please keep the kiddos away from this movie. It's way too eeeewy!

Sex/Nudity – Ummm…no. They’re in Alaska in the freezing cold. Leann kept getting frustrated with Liam's character. As mentioned before, it's freezing cold. He was wearing this nice, thick coat and would NOT put the hood up. Just wouldn't. Crazy.

Cussing – Yes. It made up about 90% of the script.

Drinking/Drugs – Yes to drinking but I didn’t notice any drugs. There was a bar scene at the beginning in which this might be possible but that would be it.

Violence – YES! And it’s not pretty either. You’re mixing people with angry, hungry wolves. You know it’s gonna get messy. There is a lot of blood and it’s free-flowing in a couple instances. Gross. Spoiler Alert…Here is where one of the big rules of scary movies comes in to play. Do NOT, under any circumstances, take a pee when you’re all by yourself and something bad is after you. Just don’t. Nothing good can come of it.

Intense scenes – Definitely. Even after typing all this I haven’t been able to loosen up. I had to force myself to relax during the relatively tame scenes but it got to the point, with so many in-your-face scares, that I just couldn’t chill completely.

I’m not quite sure who to recommend this to. I will never see it again because of the cheap scares alone but I do have to admit that it was well-made. The landscapes were breathtaking and the director knew just what angle to use to get the biggest jumps out of the audience. So rude. Leann said to say that if you enjoy movies like The Poseidon Adventure, Alive, Towering Inferno, etc. then you’ll like this. I’m going with the stereotype and say that this is a man’s movie. If you want to sit around and watch what happens happen and then grunt about how you would have done things differently then this is the movie for you.

We did not stay through the credits. We were cold. We were sore and we had had enough. I think I’m going to take Leann’s advice and take a muscle relaxer or five and jump in a hot bath.

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