Monday, January 23, 2012

Underworld: Awakening

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“When human forces discover the existence of the Vampire and Lycan clans, a war to eradicate both species commences. The vampire warrioress Selene leads the battle against humankind.“ Summary from IMDB. Warrioress. Tee-hee. That makes me giggle. No idea why.

This review is going to be short and well, not so sweet. It’s about murderous vampires and werewolves. Go see Twilight if you want sweet. If you’ve liked all the other movies in this series you’ll, more than likely, like this one. There was lots more action than talking this time around and they catch you up pretty quickly instead of bogging you down with back-story. If you haven’t seen any of the previous Underworld movies, you might want to skip this review and watch them if you like Blade-type vampire films. If you don’t like vampire films at all, even the cute, huggable vampires, then this movie is most definitely not for you. “Run away! Run Away!”

The trailer for Underworld: Awakening is missing an important element. Yea! And I’m not going to share it with you either. Speaking of missing, Michael - not to be confused with my ex-husband - makes only a very brief appearance, dang it! I like Michael. When he’s not all vampiry/wolfy he’s all kinds of cute. The end of the film sets things up for yet another Underworld. Wahoo! Hopefully we’ll see more of Michael in that one.

This is rated R for a reason. These are not shiny, happy vampires and lovesick werewolves. These are I’d-just-as-soon-rip-out-your-throat-as-shake-your-hand critters. Even Selene. Especially Selene. I do not recommend this for children. Period. Exclamation point.

I actually stayed through the credits this time. Nothing happens. You’re welcome.

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