Saturday, February 25, 2012

Chronicle

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I am never, never, never, NEVER going to another shaky-cam type movie again. Never! You'd think Paranormal Activity would've learned me. You'd be wrong. For those of you who don't know what happened during Paranormal Activity, I tossed my cookies...twice. At least I made it to the bathroom the second time. This time I felt it coming on about half-way through and by the time the movie [finally] picked up the pace I was becoming a bit panicked. I ended up closing my eyes and listening to the last 20 minutes. So pathetic. I mentioned it to Leanne and she said she didn't get sick during. Great! It's just me. Or maybe not. Feel free to chime in.

Chronicle is about 3 high school boys - one who is abused at home and at school and two who are seemingly well-loved and popular - who decide to check out a deep hole in the ground after they hear a loud, scary noise come out of it. The hole contains a ginormous glowing rock that they decide, for some silly reason, to touch. Having done so, they awake with super powers.

Now, this has horror movie written all over it but it really wasn't. Had a girl gone down in to that hole there would have been an axe murderer (poor, poor axes), wielding a chain saw and sporting a hook. And she would have tripped on her high heels while running through a forest and looking back over her shoulder to see if the killer (who also has a limp, by the way) is catching up to her. That doesn't happen in this film. I'm just saying, if it did...

But back to my story. Did the boys use their powers for good or evil? I'm not telling. I don't want to ruin it for anyone who hasn't seen it and if you have already seen it you already know unless you were as close to talking to dinosaurs as I was. The story was such that it had the ground-work to be a semi-decent movie. It just never really picked up until the very end. The only scene that slightly amused me was when they discovered they could fly. Other than that...meh.

It just really wasn't all that interesting to me. There were only two other people in the theater with me and they didn't do anything distracting and yet I couldn't stay in the movie.

The break-down this time isn't very helpful due to the not being able to pay attention but I'll do my best.

Sex/Nudity - No nudity and no sex but there was a very embarrassing "after attempted sex" scene that's a tad icky. According to IMDB the boy got sick so it wasn't what I thought it was.

Drugs/Alcohol - Alcohol at least at a party. Not sure about drugs.

Cursing - I am so ashamed to admit that I don't remember. I'd be completely surprised if there wasn't at least a word or two. Wow! I was so off my game on this one. According to a parents who posted on IMDB the following was heard/seen, "1 obscene hand gesture, 34 scatological terms, 10 anatomical terms, 7 mild obscenities, 3 religious profanities, 7 religious exclamations." Apparently I can't be trusted when I don't feel well. Maybe I should begin my reviews with my state of health.

Violence - This I am sure of. Yes, there was violence but not really graphic, blood-flying-everywhere violence. People do die though so that's not cool.

I wish I could say more good things about this movie but I just can't. I was so sick by the end of it that I couldn't even stay through the credits. This is another movie I have no idea who I would recommend it to. If you got sick during Blair Witch or Paranormal Activity then don't go see this unless you're in to that sort of thing. It was very predictable and the supposed-to-be-intense scenes really weren't. But, then again, my eyes were covered for quite a while. What do I know?

P.S. I am a bit curious as to why the boys didn't pull the truck out of the water. Weird.

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