Saturday, February 25, 2012

Chronicle

Photobucket
I am never, never, never, NEVER going to another shaky-cam type movie again. Never! You'd think Paranormal Activity would've learned me. You'd be wrong. For those of you who don't know what happened during Paranormal Activity, I tossed my cookies...twice. At least I made it to the bathroom the second time. This time I felt it coming on about half-way through and by the time the movie [finally] picked up the pace I was becoming a bit panicked. I ended up closing my eyes and listening to the last 20 minutes. So pathetic. I mentioned it to Leanne and she said she didn't get sick during. Great! It's just me. Or maybe not. Feel free to chime in.

Chronicle is about 3 high school boys - one who is abused at home and at school and two who are seemingly well-loved and popular - who decide to check out a deep hole in the ground after they hear a loud, scary noise come out of it. The hole contains a ginormous glowing rock that they decide, for some silly reason, to touch. Having done so, they awake with super powers.

Now, this has horror movie written all over it but it really wasn't. Had a girl gone down in to that hole there would have been an axe murderer (poor, poor axes), wielding a chain saw and sporting a hook. And she would have tripped on her high heels while running through a forest and looking back over her shoulder to see if the killer (who also has a limp, by the way) is catching up to her. That doesn't happen in this film. I'm just saying, if it did...

But back to my story. Did the boys use their powers for good or evil? I'm not telling. I don't want to ruin it for anyone who hasn't seen it and if you have already seen it you already know unless you were as close to talking to dinosaurs as I was. The story was such that it had the ground-work to be a semi-decent movie. It just never really picked up until the very end. The only scene that slightly amused me was when they discovered they could fly. Other than that...meh.

It just really wasn't all that interesting to me. There were only two other people in the theater with me and they didn't do anything distracting and yet I couldn't stay in the movie.

The break-down this time isn't very helpful due to the not being able to pay attention but I'll do my best.

Sex/Nudity - No nudity and no sex but there was a very embarrassing "after attempted sex" scene that's a tad icky. According to IMDB the boy got sick so it wasn't what I thought it was.

Drugs/Alcohol - Alcohol at least at a party. Not sure about drugs.

Cursing - I am so ashamed to admit that I don't remember. I'd be completely surprised if there wasn't at least a word or two. Wow! I was so off my game on this one. According to a parents who posted on IMDB the following was heard/seen, "1 obscene hand gesture, 34 scatological terms, 10 anatomical terms, 7 mild obscenities, 3 religious profanities, 7 religious exclamations." Apparently I can't be trusted when I don't feel well. Maybe I should begin my reviews with my state of health.

Violence - This I am sure of. Yes, there was violence but not really graphic, blood-flying-everywhere violence. People do die though so that's not cool.

I wish I could say more good things about this movie but I just can't. I was so sick by the end of it that I couldn't even stay through the credits. This is another movie I have no idea who I would recommend it to. If you got sick during Blair Witch or Paranormal Activity then don't go see this unless you're in to that sort of thing. It was very predictable and the supposed-to-be-intense scenes really weren't. But, then again, my eyes were covered for quite a while. What do I know?

P.S. I am a bit curious as to why the boys didn't pull the truck out of the water. Weird.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

21 Jump Street

Photobucket

If I could only use two words to describe 21 Jump Street I would have to go with “filthy” and “hilarious”. Those of you who watched the TV show already know the basic premise. Everyone else was either an adult then or too young to remember. Or hadn’t been born yet. Despite the series beginning when I was four and ending when I was eight I still caught a couple of episodes. Okay, so maybe I was a little older than that. But only just.

The TV series focused on a group of young-looking police officers who busted crime in local high schools. The movie does the same with the main characters assigned to take down a drug ring.

As you can see from my previous review, I recently watched The Vow. You cannot begin to believe how relieved I am that I saw that movie first. I wouldn’t have been able to take Channing Tatum seriously if it had been second. It’s nice to know that he isn’t the kind of star who’s been set as a Hollywood type. He can be funny or romantic or heroic or…and still look absolutely amazing.

I just recently started appreciating Jonah Hill thanks to Moneyball. He and Channing played well off each other in 21 Jump Street. I am so glad I’m not a casting director. I would not have put those two together. But someone saw something and it worked.

Fortunately, it’s not too difficult to talk about this film without revealing any important scenes. I’m pretty sure that made sense. Channing and Hill (Jenko and Schmidt) are sent to high school, as students, to find out who is distributing drugs. They’re pretty sure what the basic day to day is going to be like but are somewhat surprised. They both get to go through the typical, sometimes painful, high school experiences. We watched as they dealt with social structure, relationship preferences and girls. Not to mention having to actually go to class. No thank you very much.

I know you’re thinking that this doesn’t sound very exciting yet but stick with me. The film also includes some fun action scenes; one of them involving a Student Driver car, a Porsche (please correct me if I got that wrong. I just don’t know cars), a pink Bug, several motorcycles, flammable liquid and chickens. Hey! I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried. Thank goodness someone else could.

Let me begin the break-down by saying that within the first five minutes I knew that I would NEVER tell my sister she should take PT to see this movie. EVER!

Sex/Nudity – Yes. During a party scene we got a brief glimpse of someone’s backside. They also include a shot of several girls in just their unders. I guess they had to include something like that for the targeted demographic. Okay, I am going to spoil the film just a bit. We also got to enjoy (insert sarcasm font here) what was supposed to be a man’s…ahem… member. Fortunately for us and unfortunately for him, it was not attached to said man. There is also a brief sex scene during the credits.

Cussing – Let’s put it this way. If you decided to take part in a drinking game in which you had to down a shot each time the F-bomb was dropped you would be blitzed within the first 10 minutes. I gave up my tally a little over halfway through and still noted that THAT word alone was spoken over sixty times. Remember when Passenger 57 was the movie for that particular drinking game? We also heard every other cuss word under the sun. To list them all would make my review R-rated so I’d rather not.

Drinking/Drugs – Drugs…well sure. That’s what the movie is about. And drinking? I was feeling a tad tipsy just watching the party scene. I think there were fumes coming off the screen.

Violence – Definitely. I ended up laughing through the worst scene because a woman behind me screamed. And not just a quick, startled sound. She full out shrieked. I have a feeling the people on either side of me got shaken. Come on. You know what happens when you can’t laugh out loud. It takes over the rest of your body.

Grossness – Uh huh. I had to avert my eyes during what I thought was going to be a major puke scene. But, in all fairness, I am a sympathy puker so this isn’t really surprising. And the man’s member bit was a tad gross too.

I would absolutely, positively NOT recommend this for children or anyone who is easily offended by cursing. Having said this, I was amazed at the number of young children in the audience. Children old enough to understand what was being said and young enough they shouldn’t have been allowed anywhere near that theater. And what makes things worse is that people are going to want to quote a lot of the lines. Repeatedly. I can see it now. Several teachers are gonna be in for a big surprise at school tomorrow when little Tommy decides to share his movie experience with other members of his class. Are teachers still allowed to wash children’s mouths out with soap?

A lot of the humor was immature and apparently I was in the mood for it. There were, however, a couple things I’m somewhat ashamed to admit I found amusing. I won’t elaborate though. You’ll have to watch and make your own opinions. Judging by the audience reaction this movie will do well solely based on word of mouth. Except for the man who was behind us as we were leaving. When asked what he thought of the film he said, “I thought it sucked.” Well, okay then. I don’t know what kind of movie he thought he was going to but nobody else seemed to have similar feelings. Maybe he didn’t see any trailers for it and was just there for a free screening. Yeah. Let’s go with that theory.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

The Vow

the vow Pictures, Images and Photos
I took Leanne with me last night to see The Vow. I loved it. We got to the theater 2, yes t-w-o, hours early and it’s a good thing we did. The line got long quick. I hope it does as well this weekend. This was another pre-screening so I’m going to try not to ruin it for you.

This is the story of Paige and Leo, a young, married couple who are in a car accident. Paige is put in a coma and when she wakes up she has no memory of her life with Leo. Despite the obstacles, Leo is determined to make Paige fall in love with him all over again. Does he succeed? Not tellin’.

I love the actors who were chosen to portray Paige and Leo. I’ve been a big Rachel McAdams fan for years. I have yet to see her in a movie in which I didn’t like her. And to say that I like Channing Tatum is a bit of an understatement. They really do need to be in more movies together. They are so believable as a couple.

Leanne said she thought The Vow was kind of cheesy but admitted shortly after that she’s not really a romantic person. Well…that would do it. The audience as a whole seemed to enjoy it. There was even a scene in which Paige did something that a lot of people didn’t want her to do and several of the men in the audience yelled, “NO!” Not the women…the men! Too funny.

I believe The Vow earned its PG-13 rating. Actually, I was kind of impressed that it got that instead of PG considering how lax the whole system seems to be lately. But, I won’t get in to that…again. Let’s see what could be behind that rating.

Sex/Nudity – you know they’re going to have sex but you don’t see it happen. There is also full backal (I made a new word) nudity. And it’s Channing. He’s pretty. This is probably one of the big reasons for the 13 after the PG. I’m just guessing.

Cussing – Yes. There wasn’t a lot but the word of choice was $#!+ and I didn’t hear the big ones.

Drinking/Drugs – Yes to drinking. No to drugs. Unless chocolate is a drug then yes.

Violence – Someone gets punched. He really did deserve it though.

Intense Scenes – Yes. The car accident. And, just a warning, they play it in slow-motion.

If you have even a teensy tinesy romantic bone in your body – like even a pinkie toe-sized bone – you might want to give this a try. And it’s Valentine weekend. The powers that be obviously thought out the release date. Take your sweetie to see The Vow. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll – more than likely – hold hands and snuggle. Perfect!

Note to my future husband wherever you are: Be a Leo. He’s pretty awesome.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Jubilee Market Bakery & Boutique

Mom was in town this weekend and she and my aunt spent a lot of time visiting with my grandparents. But! When they weren't with the g-rents, they were shopping and during one of their outings stopped at Jubilee Market Bakery & Boutique at 835 SW 119th Street in the Market Place Shopping Center. Now, if you know anything about me, you know I tend to shy away from anything that screams, "GIRLIE!!!!" but mom assured me this place has really good food. And she was right.

Sadly, I didn't think to get a picture of the front of the B&B. I'll try to remember next time I go because I will be going back. I decided to try the chicken salad. They serve it on tomato basil bread. Yum! I wasn't incredibly hungry and thought this would be plenty but when they brought the plate out it came with a decent-sized bowl of fruit. Yum again! I had already eaten half of my sandwich before I remembered to take a picture. Oops.


And then, because that's just how we roll, mom shared a bite of her quiche with me and she tried a bite of my sandwich. So good! I want to go back and take someone with me who's never been so they can say, "Holy crap! This place is awesome! I must come back again and again!" Or something equally encouraging.

As we were wrapping up our meal - finishing, not taking it with us because there was nothing left to take - mom asked if I wanted a cookie. Well...yeah. Even though I was already stuffed. I mean, how can you say, "No!" to cookies? I'm pretty sure it hurts their feelings. Anyway! She got us both the peanut butter chocolate chip. I wouldn't say these are the best cookies in the world but they were pretty darn tasty. They also had several trays of cupcakes but I knew I was headed down a dangerous path if I got one of those. Cupcakes. Not trays. Just so we understand each other.


The little boutique is kinda cute too (I'm not a shopper so it takes quite a bit to excite me on that score). If you go to the web site it shows a couple things they sell. The baby/toddler clothes were just all kinds of cute. We looked around while waiting for our food which didn't take long. At.All.

So, if you're looking for a place with light (for the most part) but filling fare you should check this out. If you're not then go for the cupcakes and other desserts. They looked so good! According to their web site the bakery/boutique hours are from 9 - 6 Monday through Friday and 9 - 5 Saturday and lunch is served Monday through Saturday from 11 - 2. Bon appetite!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Movie List - January 2012

Looks like things have picked back up again on the movie scene. I figured it would because of the weather but, as most of you know, it hasn’t really been that bad. I wish it was though. I love snow!!!

Here’s the January line-up. I don’t think February will come anywhere close. So much to do and the month has just started.

1) Gnomeo and Juliet
2) Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy – I did NOT like this. I want that five hours back. What’s that? It didn’t last five hours? Boy, it sure felt like it.
3) Tangled – this was the first time I’d seen this. Loved it!
4) Arthur – I don’t much care for Russell Brand usually but I really really liked him during the serious scenes.
5) Bridesmaids – Why did this get such rave reviews? I have no problem with a little bit of immature humor but this went above and beyond that “little bit”.
6) Water for Elephants – So good!
7) 27 Dresses
8) Miss Congeniality
9) A Father’s Choice
10)Something Borrowed
11)From Justin to Kelly – Hey! Don’t judge me! I needed brainless entertainment and this certainly fit the bill. I would have liked it more if they hadn’t obviously stolen major scenes from Grease and Dance With Me (and probably others but I stopped trying to pick things out after a while).
12)Man on a Ledge
13)Charlie St. Cloud – Liked it but it was pretty predictable. Spoiler: I still have a question about the implied intimacy. If she wasn’t really there….???
14)The Social Network – Liked it a LOT more than I thought I would
15)The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
16)Contraband
17)Underworld: Awakening
18)Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows
19)The Runaways – The Twilight Series is still the only thing I can stand to watch Kristen Stewart in. Maybe the new Snow White movie will fare better.
20)The Grey
21)Mystery, Alaska