Sunday, April 22, 2012

Unsolicited Links Part Deux

It seems to be fixed. I apologize again for the inconvenience. The two people who voluntarily read my blog may now continue to do so. :-)

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Unsolicited Links

Dear Readers,

It appears that someone is adding unsolicited links to my posts. Until I figure out how to stop it please please PLEASE do NOT click on anything within my review posts. I apologize for the inconvenience.

The Lucky One (PG-13)

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I admit it. I’m a Zac Efron fan. And yes. I did see all the High School Musicals. I think I watched them with my niece though so that’s okay right? Right? Man, you’re a tough crowd! Tonight I went with a couple of my co-workers and a friend of theirs to see The Lucky One. We’d been planning this outing for at least a couple months. If the first night is any indication, it’s not going to do too poorly. I picture women telling their friends that they have to go see and then going with them when they do.

The story revolves around a young Marine (Logan Thibault) who, after three tours in Iraq, searches out the woman who has, unknowingly, become his good luck charm (Beth Green).

Wow! Who thought I’d ever be able to sum up anything that quickly? Yeah, I’ll tell you a little more but not much. As most of you already know, this is based on a book by Nicholas Sparks. If you’ve ever read more than one of Nicholas Sparks’ books, you know that someone, at some time, is gonna die. It’s a fact. One of the women I went to the movie with – we’ll call her Wally - had encouraged me to read the book first. I am about half-way through and was so glad I hadn’t finished it. So far, the movie kept only to the basic story. Most everything else was changed. And the changes were pointless. I liked the book version a LOT better. I’m definitely going to finish it now. Having read as much as I did, I was torn about who would be chosen to kick off. I finally broke down and asked Wally if one certain character was the one whose life force is terminated. It was not. Whew!

Now, let’s talk about some of those changes. In the book Beth’s son, Ben, doesn’t really care much for his dad. Not so in the movie. Logan’s German Shepherd, Zeus, is a big part of the book. The first half of it anyway. Once again…not so in the movie. I could go on and on but I won’t. You get the picture. The book is different than the movie. Big shocker, I know.

I think I’ve seen every Nicholas Sparks movie that’s come out and while this wasn’t the best, it wasn’t the worst either. Armat and I cried during The Notebook and tried to hide that fact from each other. It was quite amusing when we both caught on. I was angry about Message in a Bottle. I had read that book first and hoped beyond hope that the person who died in the book would somehow survive the movie. Didn’t happen. I didn’t read Nights in Rodanthe before I saw the movie and when I did see it, I bawled. So glad I didn't see that one at the theater. If you’ve kept up with my blog, you know how I felt about The Last Song. Wally told me that the screenplay for that was written with Miley Cyrus in mind to play the lead. Whyyyyyy? I didn’t have a very strong reaction to A Walk to Remember but that’s mainly due to the fact that I didn’t really like Mandy Moore. Most of her movies are an absolute cringe fest for me. Sorry, Mandy. Did I cry during The Lucky One? Nope. Not at all. Why? Not tellin’.

The casting directors did a pretty decent job with their selections. As mentioned before, I like Zac Efron. So true. I DO know that he’s at least five years my junior, thanks for pointing that out. I can deal with that fact. I can also deal with the fact that High School Musical Zac is all grown up now. Zac plays the part of Logan. I like him in this role but one thing sort of bothered me. He was a tad too pretty. What I mean is he didn’t look like a three-tour veteran. At least not what I pictured one would look like. Especially considering what all he was supposed to have survived. He still looked relatively innocent though a couple scenes in the movie proved THAT theory wrong. I also expected “Disney” acting and it appears he’s outgrown that. I especially like him in the scenes with Ben. He seems to be comfortable around kids. You might notice that not all actors are. I also liked him in one certain scene with Beth. Sigh.

Taylor Schilling played the part of Beth. I had never heard of her before this movie. While she’s no Julia Roberts, she certainly held her own. My favorite scene in which she’s involved is when Ben is playing the violin. She did proud well.

Blythe Danner plays the part of Beth’s grandma, Ellie. I love Blythe. I really do. She’s a real spitfire. She is obviously protective of her babies in the movie but she doesn’t put up with any guff either. She has a very big heart. I never did figure out why half the furniture in her house was covered with sheets. I thought we’d be drawn in to some sad story of loss regarding certain rooms. Never happened. I guess they just didn’t use that furniture much.

Riley Thomas Stewart plays the part of Ben. Let me tell you right now that he is most definitely not book Ben. If I had my druthers, and I do, I would have chosen an actor from another Nicholas Sparks movie. I think Bobby Coleman from The Last Song would have been a great Ben. Especially if the powers that be had stuck to the book. Riley is not a bad little actor at all but he really wasn’t right for this.

Now that we’re past the people part let’s break it down.

Sex/Nudity – Yes. Yes, there was sex. And more than one scene. I’m guessing that if Zac wanted more grown up roles, he succeeded. If you want to ensure a “cuddle fest” at the end of a date then this is definitely the movie for you. It got a little warm in the theater. Zac in his unders was a sight to behold. Hey! It’s just the facts, man. Although we know that the characters were naked, the important parts were kept off camera. That sounds like they were physically removed from their persons. You know what I meant, though. At least I hope you do.

Drinking/Drugs – Several of the characters drink beer but it’s not a major part of the movie. No drugs.

Cussing – Yes. At least one GD but the word of choice was $#!+.

Violence – Beth is treated somewhat roughly by her ex and in one scene a gun is pulled and aimed at another character. That’s it.

Intense scenes – The gun scene and the climactic scene. The only blood we saw came from Ben’s nose after he got hit during a softball game.

I would definitely recommend this as a date movie. If you’re not seeing anyone then this is a straight-up chick flick. I’m pretty sure my mom and sister would like it but based on her response to Breaking Dawn: Part 1, I don’t think Armat would want PT to watch this just yet. I’m willing to bet that the sex scenes pushed this movie perilously close to an R-rating. Having said that. I enjoyed The Lucky One and will be purchasing it when it comes out on DVD. Okay, when the DVD goes on sale. I try not to pay full price for movies. It’s how I roll.

P.S. Since I was with other people and one of them was my ride, I didn’t sit through the credits. Had I known my companions would be utilizing the facilities I would have stayed behind.

P.P.S. According to IMDB…”A Marine travels to North Carolina after serving three tours in Iraq and searches for the unknown woman he believes was his good luck charm during the war.” Ummm…no. In the book he went to North Carolina. In the movie he went to Louisiana. Obviously someone paid more attention to the book

Friday, April 20, 2012

Think Like a Man (PG-13)

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“Four friends conspire to turn the tables on their women when they discover the ladies have been using Steve Harvey's relationship advice against them.” IMDB


When I went last night to the pre-screening of Think Like a Man my expectations were kind of low. With a synopsis like the one above, I knew there would be drama and judging by the trailer it was also going to be a little funny but I was only slightly in the mood to see any movie. I was exhausted and was afraid I was going to fall asleep during. That was quickly forgotten. The movie was just that entertaining.


The synopsis is on the mark for once so this doesn’t need a lot of explanation but I’m going to try anyway. Think Like a Man showcases four women who know what they want from their men but don’t know how to get it. One has been with her commitment phobic boyfriend for nine years. Another keeps meeting men who want only one thing. The third has a young son and difficulty finding a man who’s cool with that. And the fourth is the COO of a Fortune 500 company who is looking for her equal. Do all the women get what they’re looking for? Nope. What? You thought I wasn’t gonna tell you?


As I write this I’m sitting in bed, typing on my laptop, watching Gilmore Girls and have a kitten falling asleep on my stomach. If ever a movie was made for such a pathetic woman this one is it. I wonder if the book mentions a man for such a person. Hmmmm… And speaking of the men, there are five of them on which the movie focuses, though we do see a sixth in their group on occasion. Wait just one minute there! Five men and four women? What’s going on here? You’ll see. You’ll also see these descriptions in the movie but I’m gonna tell you anyway. The men are described as such: The Player, The Dreamer, The Mama’s Boy, The Commitment-Phobe, The Happily Married and The Happily Divorced. You’re really interested now, aren’t you? No? Come on now!


Other than two of the guys I love the cast. Chris Brown has top billing but is only in a couple scenes and only very briefly. I read that he was supposed to be one of the main characters but Kevin Hart won the role instead. Thank goodness! I still don’t understand why Chris got top billing. Kevin Hart is funny but his antics get old after a while. He frequently goes off on rants, gets offended a little too easily and seems to be a tad showy-offy (it could be a word). Aside from being annoying though, Kevin does bring a lot of the comedy to the film. As there are eight main characters, I’m going to refrain from saying good things about each individual. I liked them all and this post would go on forever.


Since this is coming out tomorrow…er…tonight I’m going to head on to the break-down.


Sex/Nudity – We knew that someone had just had/was getting ready to have sex but we didn’t see the act. The closest it got to nudity was a girl in her bra and a man in just pajama bottoms.


Drinking/Drugs – No drugs. Quite a bit of drinking.


Cussing – Yes. GD was well loved for this script. B made a few appearances. The only word I don’t recall hearing was F. One of the people I went with said she was glad that the movie didn’t have any cussing. When we looked as if she’d lost her mind she said that she’d probably become desensitized. I completely understand. I was the same way before I started blogging for my niece. True.


Violence – A book gets thrown. Oh no!


I wouldn’t recommend Think Like a Man for children because the subject matter is more than they need to deal with at their ages and because of the language. Other than that, I recommend this to pretty much anyone. I know a lot of you guys out there are thinking this is a total chick flick. Well…it is. But then again, it isn’t. The movie shows a lot of dating but it also shows the guys just hanging and gives us a glimpse in to their friendship. There were only two things I thought should have been changed about the movie. The first is that one of the women gets mad at her man when he turns the tables on her and she finds out. She called him a liar. Excuse me. Who used the book in the first place? The second is that we never get to see Bennett’s wife. He’s the only one of the guys who is happily married. You’d think we’d get to meet her at least once. Nope. Unless they snuck her in at the end and I just didn’t notice but I don’t think so.


This is a fun movie and definitely worth seeing on a date. C’mon guys. What’s the worst that could happen? Your date would expect you to shape up? Let me let you in on a little secret. The guys aren’t the only ones making changes. So there. Go see this. And if you’re a single guy who goes to Think Like a Man and it makes you want to find your other half, my number is…..


P.S. There’s nothing after the credits. Go home and get your cuddle on.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Bully (R then PG-13)

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“I define bullying as anything that makes someone doubt their self worth.” – Kelby

I’ve been “bullied” a few times in my life. Once in the middle school locker room, once in Current Events class in high school and several times in my early twenties. I put quotes around that word because these were all remote instances. Yes, each of these events frightened me at the time but none were daily occurrences. In middle school, a teacher handled the situation. In high school, the male teacher did nothing because most of the teachers were afraid of the girl causing the trouble. As a young adult I handled the problem myself. No violence was necessary on my part. Just a well-placed threat. I mention all that to say that I understand a teensy tinesy fraction of what this movie discusses. My fear lasted a few hours. A day at the most. I can’t even imagine living with that fear on a daily basis.

What does all this have to do with anything? I’m getting to that. I saw the movie Bully last night. It wasn’t as violent as I had expected but it wasn’t as tame as I wish the world was either. I managed not to cry but during a few scenes it took all I had to not loudly express my disgust (well, that and my great fear of public attention). I realize bullies have been around forever but it seems to be getting worse. Please be advised that I talk quite a bit about what happened in the movie figuring that this may be the only way some of you hear these stories.

Following is the synopsis as submitted by the writers, Cynthia Lowe and Lee Hirsch (also the director): “This year, over 13 million American kids will be bullied at school, online, on the bus, at home, through their cell phones and on the streets of their towns, making it the most common form of violence young people in this country experience. BULLY is the first feature documentary film to show how we've all been affected by bullying, whether we've been victims, perpetrators or stood silent witness. The world we inhabit as adults begins on the playground. BULLY opens on the first day of school. For the more than 13 million kids who'll be bullied this year in the United States, it's a day filled with more anxiety and foreboding than excitement. As the sun rises and school busses across the country overflow with backpacks, brass instruments and the rambunctious sounds of raging hormones, this is a ride into the unknown. For a lot of kids, the only thing that's certain is that this year, like every other, bullying will be a big part of whatever meets them at their school's front doors. Every school in the U.S. is grappling with bullying-each day more than 160,000 kids across the country are absent because they're afraid of being bullied-but for many districts it's just one more problem that gets swept under the rug. BULLY is a character-driven film. At its heart are those with the most at stake and whose stories each represent a different facet of this crisis. From the first day of school through the last, BULLY will intimately explore the lives of a few of the many courageous people bullying will touch this year.”

Bully tells the story of 5 kids who have had to endure daily abuse from their peers and had to watch as the adults who are supposed to protect them looked the other way. Sadly, two of these stories are told by the children’s surviving family and friends. The main story is about Alex, a 12-year-old boy who has to deal with daily torment at the bus stop, on the bus and at his school in Sioux City, Iowa. Because of problems at birth he looks different than most “normal” kids. Add to that the fact that he tries so hard to fit in, the other kids find him weird and, as we all know, anything different should be feared, or in this case, ostracized. That was sarcasm folks; not my real opinion. This kid had no one his own age to stand up for him. Not one friend. Kids cursed at him, threatened to kill him, walked up and punched him, slammed his head repeatedly in to the bus seat in front of him and he put up with it every day. Why? What else could he have done?

Another story involves a Kelby, a 16-year-old girl from Tuttle, OK. What? Stuff like that happens in Oklahoma? Ummm…yeah it does. And what happened to her and the reasoning behind it doesn’t surprise me at all. You see, this young lady came out as a lesbian while in high school. I love Oklahoma. When I moved overseas I was homesick for it. Despite that fondness, I am quite aware of the fact that we are one of the Good Ol’ Boy states, not to mention being the buckle in the Bible belt. This girl did nothing wrong but she was different. In one scene she mentions walking in to class and sitting in the only seat left. As soon as she sat down every student around her moved out of their seats. I’m still curious as to where they went since there weren’t other seats available. And what did the teacher do? Nothing. Kelby had to quit the basketball and softball teams because of the bullying and was even run down by boys in a minivan as she was walking back from lunch. Why? Because she likes girls. Oh well, okay then. Again…sarcasm.

Yet another story tells of a Ja’Meya, a 14-year-old girl from Yazoo County, MS who had been pushed so far that she took her mother’s loaded gun on to the bus and used it to scare the kids who had bullied her. Not a shot was fired, fortunately. It could have been so much worse. I am in no way, shape or form condoning the fact that she took a gun on a bus but what must her life have been like that she felt the need to put that kind of fear in to other kids? And how much differently would things have turned out if she had been pushed that one little bit further and shot someone? The director doesn’t go in to as much detail with her as he does with the others so you just have to take her at her word that it had gotten that bad. A law enforcement officer did come on screen and mentioned that short of being whipped daily there was no amount of bullying that should have pushed her to do what she did. Fabulous!

The 4th and 5th stories were about two boys, Tyler and Ty, who couldn’t take it anymore and sought the only escape they could come up with at the time. They ended their lives. The ages of these boys? 17 and 11. E-L-E-V-E-N!!! Not that 17-year-old Tyler’s death was less meaningful but 11? What kind of hatred did this boy have to suffer to feel the need to permanently end it? He hadn’t even hit the rough years yet. He still had the rest of middle school and high school to go and we all know how incredibly fun that was a good portion of the time. I imagine he pictured 7 more years of the same abuse he’d already been dealing with. Wanna take a guess regarding where he was from? Congratulations, Oklahoma, for being mentioned not once but twice in this documentary. And the 17 year old? He was almost done. He’d made it through most of his pre-college academic career in Murray County, GA. What on earth was he going through that even that goal seemed unattainable?

I said that this was the story of 5 kids but there was one more. Cole attended the same school as Alex and was also bullied. Sadly, his bullying wasn’t limited to other students. He received it from the Vice Principal as well. She pulled him out of class to talk to him and when he tried to explain what had happened she told him to try to get along with the bully. And, in another scene in which the students were walking in to the school, she pulled Cole and one of the bullies aside and asked what was going on in the school yard. Cole explained that the boy was calling him names and picking on him. The VP’s response? Shake hands and make up. The bully held out his hand but Cole did not. Would you? The VP told Cole that he was the one not making the effort. When Cole finally gave in and shook the boy’s hand the VP excused the bully and kept Cole so that she could berate him some more. Earlier in the film a young boy was walking down the hall with an ice pack held to his head. When the VP questioned him he explained that another kid shoved his head against a nail that was sticking out. She looked at the spot, said, “I don’t see a hole,” and sent him on his way. Finally, when Alex’s parents went to speak with her regarding his treatment on the bus she sat there and told them that she has ridden that particular bus and those kids were “good as gold.” Are you kidding me? Of course they were! The VP was on the bus! Any time this woman spoke it seemed as if members of the audience were going to come undone. We were all so angry. During the Q and A session after the film someone asked if the VP still had her job. She does! What’s even more disturbing is this woman KNEW she was being filmed and this is how she acted. How much worse was she when the cameras weren’t rolling?

I know I’ve spent a lot of time talking about the bullies and the bullied but there is one group of people that should really be singled out. The adults. Where on earth were they? How were your children treated like this day in and day out and you didn’t know? Now, that’s not a fair question but I know other people are going to ask it. In Kelby’s case, her parents knew what was going on. They told her they’d move out of Tuttle to a bigger city where she’d be more likely to fit in. She chose to stay despite the daily obstacles because she didn’t want the bullies to win. But, back to my question. Where were the parents? Why didn’t they know? Other than a couple scenes in Alex’s home, we don’t really hear about what the parents did to get their kids to talk to them or IF they even did anything. The VP mentioned above wasn’t the only adult I got angry with. Alex’s parents didn’t thrill me either. Let me take a minute to say that the director was with this family for about a year. There’s no way we can know what else went on in that house but in these two scenes the parents were not made to look good. It almost seems as if the bullying was continued at home. At one point the dad told Alex he needs to take care of his problems so that it doesn’t trickle down to hurt his siblings. His sister said that it’s already affected her and that the kids pick on her because he’s weird. The dad didn’t say a word in his defense. Come on, man! If children were meant to fight all their own battles we’d be set loose as soon we could walk and feed ourselves to make our own way in the world. But that’s not how human life was intended.

What, or more to the point, who, finally got Alex the attention he deserved? The director. Lee Hirsch. The last day Alex was attacked on the best was too much for Lee. Legally he couldn’t touch the kids but he had in his possession a means to display to the masses what Alex was going through. He showed the school administrators. He showed Alex’s parents. Where would Alex be today if not for Lee’s choosing him for this documentary? I can tell you where he isn’t. Sioux City, Iowa. His parents got him away from that state. Where did they go? Looks like Oklahoma’s going to be mentioned a third time. Yup. That’s right. I do get to say something nice about my beloved state. I can’t remember if they told during the movie what school he currently attends or if it was brought up during the Q & A so I’m not going to mention it here. I will say that when asked why this school district was chosen, Alex’s mom answered, “Any place where people lie to get their kids in to the school district must be a good place.” So true.

I realize this “review” has been long but I felt it needed to be said. Because of the rating most kids won’t be allowed to see Bully. It was rated R for language – and there is a LOT of it – but it’s been lowered to PG-13 with the emphasis that kids under 17 shouldn’t be allowed to see it. Excuse me? That’s basically the same as keeping it rated R. I was appalled by the cursing and strongly believe that the words could be bleeped out and the point still be made. There is still so much hatred spewing from the kids’ mouths that the absence of the F-word won’t hurt the message of the film. Alex’s mom brought up a good point. She said that if the powers that be keep the rating as R and make a big deal about kids not seeing it, a lot of kids are going to find a way to go anyway. But! Most kids will have to deal with any emotions themselves that this brings up because they know they can’t go to their parents with questions if they were forbidden by them to see it in the first place.

I get that many of you won’t want your children to see this due to the emotional stress and the language but I encourage you to sit down with them and explain your reasons instead of just telling them they can’t go and leaving it at that. More than that, I encourage you to either take your kids to see it or encourage the school system to show it. I don’t believe that any child should be allowed to watch this by themselves. I want so badly to say that only children of a certain age should see this but while reading the production notes on the Bully website I discovered that in looking for kids to film they heard about a 9-year-old boy who hung himself in the school nurse’s office. Obviously this is affecting young kids as well. I told my sister, Armat, about it and suggested she go watch it first and then decide if PT (her daughter) could handle it. At the very least parents could go to the movie and then sit down with their kids and have a nice, long chat.

For more information on Bully please click here.

I apologize if, at any point, it sounds like I’m telling you how to parent your children. That was not my intent. I just know that I never want PT to have to go through this. On either side of it. I don’t believe she would ever bully someone but I bet there are a lot of parents who feel the same way about their kids, nieces, nephews, grandchildren. You get the point. I do believe that if something happened to her or her best friend, or anyone in her daily walk in life, something would be said. Thank goodness for that. If you’ve never met my sister you don’t know the avenging force she becomes when her daughter is threatened in any way. And that’s how it should be.

P.S. Some of you may be wondering what my parents did when I was picked on. The answer? Not a thing. Why? Because I didn’t tell them. What would they have done had they been informed? Please see what I wrote about my sister above. My cousin sometimes says that, “God protects the stupid.” In my case, this was so so true.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Dr. Pants - The Trip, Side 3: Watching the World End (and a freebie)

Dr. Pants

Remember at the end of my review for American Reunion how I mentioned the band, Dr. Pants? You don't remember? You didn't read it? What?!!! That's okay. I'll wait a minute. Done? Good. And! Remember that I told you you should go hear this band because at least one of them is nice people? Are nice people? Why is that giving me so much trouble? Well, it seems that there is more than one nice person in the group because they sent me a free review of their newest album. CD? E-music? You get the point. So they sent it to more people than me but I still feel powerful. Why? Because I have it and you don't. Mwahahahahahahaha!!! But that power only lasts until April 28th. Then you can get it too. But!!! You'll have to pay for it. Mwahahahahaha! Okay, I'm done.

Let me begin by saying that I LOVE LOVE LOVE music. Always have. Always will. I am not, however, one of those people who have ever been able to describe a band as this group meets this group meets this group with an undertone of this group if the lead singer joined this group with this drummer and so on. I just can't do it. You could probably get a "they remind me a lot of this group" out of me but that's the extent of my comparisons. That doesn't mean my opinion isn't valid. I like what I like and you should too. I mean...everyone is entitled to their own opinion. As long as it parallels mine. Isn't this fun?

If you asked them, they would describe their sounds as "Nerd Power Groove Rock." David Broyles, the lead singer says, "Weezer and Beck made a baby with Phish, and that baby is Dr. Pants." Well, that about sums it up. Dr. Pants consists of David Broyles, the self proclaimed "lead singer-y guy", Dustin Ragland (drums), Kenneth Murray (guitar) and Devin Donaldson (bass (the instrument, not the fish)). Met Kenneth and messaged with David. The remaining two should contact me in some form or another so I can tell the world how wonderful they are too. I'm just sayin...

I have listened to Watching the World End and I love it!!! I will, more than likely, commit some of these to memory to be added to the enormous repertoire that drops out of a hat anytime someone mentions something that reminds me of a song therefore causing me to belt it out right then and there. If you've ever met me you know what I mean. I do know that it can be annoying at times but you've got to admit it's also pretty darn impressive. I know I'm not the only one who does this because one of the higher ups where I work does the exact same thing. All the time. We have our own little copy room concerts much to the chagrin of everyone whose office borders said room.

My favorite of the songs from Watching the World End is Dog -> Hurricane. I totally believe it could happen. It's like the Butterfly Effect but with a cute puppy instead of a flying insect. And you've got to know that a dog’s tail is way more powerful than butterfly wings. I mean, you don't see butterflies going all ninja on dogs or other small creatures. Why? Because they can't. True story.

I really did like every song. I need to go check out their previous albums now. They also have a video on Youtube called Sarsaparilla Girl. The entire video was shot using an iPhone 4 at Pops in Arcadia, OK. I so heart Pops!!! If you're ever in Oklahoma this is one of the places you should go. Be warned, it's out in the middle of nowhere. But! It's also close to the round barn so you can see two cool pieces of Americana in the same trip. Coolness all around. I am kind of curious as to where she rode her bike to and from.

Omigosh this review is not going at all in the direction I had planned. Sorry for all the pit stops. As mentioned before, I like this album and if you have a sense of humor you will too. I'm not sure if that's what Dr. Pants was going for but there you go. Maybe it'll help more if I say that I really like the instrumentals also. Because I did. And you will too. Having said that, following is a link to their song Robot Spiders. Dr. Pants gave this to me to give to you! See? I told you they were nice. Mom won't like it because it says the word "spiders" repeatedly and that just weirds her out but I think the rest of you should be okay. All I'll say is that it's about a guy who builds robot spiders to kill off the human race. What's more fun and upbeat than killer robot spiders? Well...nothing! Oh! And there's a surprise ending. Even better!

So, without further ado...Robot Spiders!

I know! Good, right? I already have it running through my head. It's gonna take something major to replace it. I don't think even Weird Al can get this one out.

The other songs are just as good, if not better. I can say that, right? I mean, I did like the dog song best. The final track is a love song that made me think of Jackie Brown and Charlie's Angels and other shows like that. Boy, I hope that's what they were aiming for. If not, I have a feeling I'll never hear from Dr. Pants again. And I will miss them so.

Remember...April 28th. Dr. Pants. Watching the World End. The End.


P.S. And don't miss the following opportunities to see them live...not Memorex:

April 26 at The Brewhouse at The Norman Music Festival, OK 8:00 PM

April 28 at VZDs OKC, OK for the EP Release Party 10:00 PM

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

American Reunion (R)

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I am writing this solely for my own enjoyment as there is no way on earth that Armat would let PT go see this movie. I took Pete and Repeat (they won’t let me even hint at their names because they don’t want anyone to know they saw this) with me. I did warn them ahead of time that it would be highly inappropriate. Inappropriate for whom, you ask? Pretty much everyone. I was right. We all felt the need to scrub certain scenes out of our brains (one each) when it was over.

This is Kad’s synopsis as written on IMDB. No, I have no idea who Kad is. “Over a decade has passed and the gang returns to East Great Falls, Michigan, for the weekend. They will discover how their lives have developed as they gather for their high school reunion. How has life treated Michelle, Jim, Heather, Oz, Kevin, Vicky, Finch, Stifler, and Stifler's mom? In the summer of 1999, it was four boys on a quest to lose their virginity. Now Kara is a cute high school senior looking for the perfect guy to lose her virginity to.”

You would think this would be a movie about their 10-year reunion but it’s not. It’s about their 13-year reunion. Who on earth would have a reunion celebrating an anniversary (does that even make sense?) that doesn’t end in a zero or five? The Mustang High School class of 1990, you say? Well, okay then. I guess it’s all right.

If you haven’t seen any of the other American Pie movies or if you did and hated them, DON’T GO SEE THIS!!! If you’re in the latter group, be advised that this is the worst movie of the bunch. Stifler is in top form. If you’re in the former group, watch the others first. Trust me. You’ll be lost but everyone else around you won’t be and then they’ll react because they know what’s coming up and you’ll be all, “What are they laughing at?” and the person you go to see it with will be like, “If you’d watched the other movies, you’d know.” and you’ll be all, “Bite me.” That’s the most mature version of that particular conversation.

The acting isn’t super great but do you really expect it to be? And there was one scene in particular in which I came incredibly close to tossing my cookies. Just a figure of speech, mom. I was NOT eating cookies. They’re not on my diet. If you go to this movie and have a weak stomach, I advise you to cover your eyes when you see Stifler walking towards the blue cooler and ask your friend later what happened. If you make them tell you when it’s over and they say it’s okay pretty quickly they’re lying. This scene drags out.

What was my favorite part of the movie? It’s what Stifler does for Oz at the dance. It included Stifler’s trademark foul mouth but he ends up showing what a good friend he is capable of being. Doh! Look at me trying to make something sweet out of one of the foulest movies I’ve ever seen. Okay…that I’ll admit to having seen.

I would definitely recommend this to anyone who liked the other films in the franchise or if you like really REALLY immature/perverse humor or you’re a boy. Once again, all men are boys. I’m not encouraging taking children. Speaking of, this movie was so far out of the 17 year old and under demographic that if you were an adult attending this screening and you were accompanying a minor, not miner, you had to sign a consent form. I kid you not. See?

Sorry it’s so blurry. I took the picture with my phone while trying to hold the form and I apparently can’t be still for half a second.

Let’s head on to the break-down though it’s really not necessary. Don’t take your kids to see this. Yes, I am the boss of you.

Sex/Nudity – Ummmm…yes and yes. Did you really think otherwise? Not only is there nudity, there is male nudity. Didn’t that used to give movies an automatic NC-17 rating? That part…er... scene was very painful to watch.

Drinking/Drugs – Lots and lots and LOTS of drinking. A few drugs including Ecstasy and a bong. No, I don’t know what Ecstasy looks like nor do I know if that’s how you spell the name. I love being ignorant of both those facts. One of the characters mentions what it is as she’s taking it. There may have been more drugs but if there were I missed them. Seeing them, I mean.

Cussing – Definitely. Stifler can’t say two words without cussing.

Violence – Pathetic fight scene. The only blood in the entire movie will make all the boys cross their legs.

A lot of the humor in this movie was shocking funny as in, “Omigosh! I can’t believe this is really happening!” I would say that I’m embarrassed to admit I saw A.R. but this entire post disproves that. This film is rude, lewd and socially unacceptable. If you decide to give this a try without having seen or been told about any of the other movies be prepared to squirm in your seat at least a couple times. It’s a very uncomfortable movie. And yet, we laughed through a good portion of it. Contradiction at its finest.

P.S. There is nothing after the credits.
P.P.S. I read a blog called The Bloggess. She too is rude, lewd and socially unacceptable (not as much so as this movie) but is also very funny despite the fact that she’s from Texas. Just kidding. Sorta. I read some of her posts the day I went to see A.R. and in one of them she mentioned a band called Dr. Pants. Bloggess is not comfortable at all in situations that involve large groups of people (she tends to get anxious and hides in the bathroom) and despite members of the band inviting her to several gigs she never could do it. So! The band came to her. She got her own little concert…in her bathroom. I know it sounds odd but it’s sweet at the same time. Why am I telling you all this? Because while Pete, Repeat and I were standing in line for the movie we made friends with the nice couple standing behind us. So much so that they asked to sit with us. Groovy! Repeat mentioned my little blog and the female half of the couple asked if I ever read The Bloggess and when I said I did she informed me that her husband, the man with her in case you were wondering, is a member of Dr. Pants! Whoa! Jump back! What are the chances? The day I read about them! And in another state even! Crazy, I know! So, here are the friends we made that evening.

And here’s my endorsement for the band: you should go hear Dr. Pants if you get the chance because at least one of them and his wife is (are?) nice people. You say that doesn’t help you with future entertainment planning? How weird.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Wrath of the Titans (PG-13)

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I was slightly disappointed with Wrath of the Titans. It wasn’t good. It wasn’t bad. It was just kind of…okay. I now understand why there wasn’t a big line for the midnight showing last week. This had the possibility of being so much better but seemed as if everyone working on the film just didn’t care.

According to IMDB, “Perseus braves the treacherous underworld to rescue his father, Zeus, captured by his son, Ares, and brother Hades who unleash the ancient Titans upon the world.”

Part of this sounds familiar. It’s almost as if the producers saw Immortals and thought they could improve upon it. They couldn’t. Not by a long shot. I didn’t quite feel the need to walk out on Wrath but neither did I enjoy it. I grew up watching Clash of the Titans starring Harry Hamlin and while it was total cheese I understood that fact and enjoyed it all the more because of it. This didn’t even have that going for it. The lack of advertising didn’t help it much either. I think they knew what they were working with.

There were times in which it felt as if the actors were phoning it in. I am a fan of Liam Neeson (Zeus) and Ralph Fiennes (Hades) but, sadly, neither of them was very impressive. Sam Worthington (Perseus) and Rosamund Pike (Queen Andromeda) seemed to enjoy their roles but it wasn’t enough to bring this back from the brink of mediocrity. My favorite actor in the entire film, Bill Nighy (Hephaestus), was only seen for a short while. Hephaestus forged the weapons of the gods and in Wrath, Persues goes to him for help. Besides making pretty cool weaponry, Hephaestus was also responsible for building Tartarus, prison of the gods. He is very proud of his handiwork and is fun to watch as he works the puzzle he invented for the main entrance.

This movie earned its rating for violence and intense scenes only. There was no sex or nudity. I don’t recall much cursing, if any. I don’t think we saw anyone eating or drinking through the entire film so no alcohol/drugs. The violence wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. The grossest parts, for me, were the ones in which some monster is drooling. Eeeewww!

The one thing that frustrated me most about this movie is that they went out of their way to explain that the gods were losing their powers because people weren’t praying to them anymore and then the writers didn’t go anywhere with it. At one point Perseus tells people not to pray to Ares but at no time does he encourage anyone to pray to Zeus. Why on earth not? This is the conversation I imagine occurred during the story discussion:

Writer: Okay, what have we left out?
Lackey: We didn’t explain why the people weren’t encouraged to pray to Zeus so he would become more powerful.
Writer: We didn’t?
Lackey: Nope. It just doesn’t happen.
Writer: Well, huh. Too bad. Oh look! It’s time for lunch!

I really do think that’s the amount of thought that went in to a lot of this movie. Having said that, this is the amount of time I’m going to spend on my review. Or maybe a little more. If you like the remake of Clash of the Titans you might want to give this a chance. Maybe you’ll like it. Then again, maybe not.

There is absolutely no need to stay through the credits.

P.S. The electronic owl from the original Clash makes a brief appearance. I still can’t believe they left him out of the remake.