Thursday, June 2, 2016

Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping (R/86 Min.)

Popstar. Where to begin.  I guess I could start by mentioning how glad I am that I didn’t write this review shortly after the movie.  It would have been bad.  Real bad.  Like, why-was-this-movie-even-made bad.  I still kind of wonder that but with not nearly the passion I felt as the credits started rolling.  Okay, that was too generous.  I felt that just a few minutes into the movie.  But!!!  Having had a couple of days to think about it, what on earth did I expect?  It’s called a mockumentary for a reason.  It’s doing nothing but making fun of real popstars.  Repeatedly.  Ad nauseum.  Over and over again.

Popstar is the story of three guys who grew up together, formed a boy band, split up when one boy got more attention than the other two and his subsequent fall from popstardom.

If you go in to this movie without a sense of humor, you might as well turn around and walk back out.  This is not for the perpetually serious.  It seems to serve one purpose and one purpose only.  To bag on stars who get a little too big for their britches.   And it does it in the most offensive and profane manner possible.  The lady who sat two seats down from me busted out with a belly laugh at the beginning of the movie and that was the last sincere amusement I heard from her the rest of the time.  She and several people, myself included, shared a lot of awkward laughter.  The oh-so-over-the-topness of it all became very uncomfortable.

Before some of you anonymous commenters get the chance to ask why I even bothered going to see Popstar, let me answer it for you now and save you some time.  I thought it was going to be funny.  Period.  I’m all for a good spoof.  This was just so overdone that it became pointless.  The person who went with me (we’ll call her Patty) probably got tired of me looking at her for her reaction.  And it just dawned on me that I’m not really talking about the movie any more, am I?

I think I only liked two songs out of all the ones we were lambasted with; I’m So Humble and Incredible Thoughts.  The rest are either incredibly silly or are mostly the F-bomb with a few other words added as filler.  Most of the songs seemed to go for shock value over any kind of music-writing ability.  Considering how the popstar acted away from the stage, this really wasn’t surprising. 

I know there’s been a lot of negative here so let’s switch to some positive for a while.  What did I like most about Popstar?  The cameos.  To say they included a few celebrities is putting it mildly.  Let’s see, they had P!nk, Snoop Dogg, Carrie Underwood, Usher, DJ Khaled, Adam Levine, Seal, Mariah Carey and her boobs, Martin Sheen, Jimmy Fallon, Nas, Danger Mouse, Ringo Starr, and several others I’m sure I’m forgetting.  The most unexpected cameo was Simon Cowell.  I would never, in a million years, have thought he’d be in a movie like this.  It’s nice to know he does have a sense of humor.  The funniest was Justin Timberlake.  We got to see him several times, thank you very much.  And last, but not least, Michael Bolton.  Also unexpected but by the time we saw him, we were no longer star struck.  Sorry Michael.

And then there were the celebrities who didn’t play themselves. Okay, so Justin didn’t play himself but, come on, he’s Justin.  These included Sarah Silverman, Tim Meadows, Imogen Poots, Bill Hader, Joan Cusack, Maya Rudolph, Will Arnett, and others.  It definitely didn’t get boring with all the famous “extras”. 

This movie is rated R and deservedly so.  There’s nudity, including male parts.  Well, one male part. But we got to look at it for a long, LONG time.  It wouldn’t go away.  Patty just referred to it as the “unfortunate penis scene”.  Yup. That pretty much sums it up.  To say there’s cussing is the understatement of the century.  I decided early on not to keep count because I thought it would be a waste of time. Now, I kinda wish I had.  Just because.  Drugs…yes.  Alcohol…yes. 

I have no idea who I would recommend to go see this film. I absolutely will NOT watch it again.  If I ever owned it, it would be because some funny person gave it to me as a gift.  Dearest friends, please no.  When we were discussing this very issue after the movie was over, it was decided that this is definitely a frat boy type film.  If you liked The Neighbors or This Is the End, you’ll more than likely like Popstar.  I don’t know if any of my friends would like this.  Oh wait, I take it back. I do know a few and if they go see this, some of the lines will be added to their already inane movie line repertoire. Sigh. 

Having said all that, if you’re going to go see Popstar, go with the understanding that the entire thing is tongue in cheek.  If you think you’re going to experience good, clean humor…no, but humor nonetheless.  If you go for any reason other than to laugh at celebrities poking fun, you won’t enjoy this at all.  Basically, if you aren’t a male between the ages of 18 and 24, or have that stereotypical maturity level, you aren’t the target audience and should probably skip this one.

P.S.  There’s nothing after the credits.  You’re welcome.

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